have you ever witnessed true hopelessness?
i know what it is to be brokenhearted. rejected. depressed. consumed with fear and anxiety. but i cannot say that i have ever experienced hopelessness. all i can figure is that knowing Jesus has kept me from reaching that point - that place where there is no light, no solution, no relief, and no reason to believe any of these things are coming to find you. how thankful i am for never feeling this.
recently i have seen what hopelessness looks like. from an outsider looking in i would say it's like being buried alive in a very small coffin. just thinking about it literally makes my throat feel like it is closing in on me. i'm sitting in my kitchen and yet claustrophobia encasing me. i actually want to run out into the street, put my hands on my knees and gasp for air. if i had a bra on i would probably do it just to alleviate this oppressive, need-more-air sensation.
i've watched this hopelessness cut the air supply to someone recently. when you have no hope, you have no reason for anything. a person with hope would probably scratch and claw at the coffin and at least try to escape their impending doom. but the hopeless don't care. and to me, not caring is so dangerous for us humans.
