i know what it is to be brokenhearted. rejected. depressed. consumed with fear and anxiety. but i cannot say that i have ever experienced hopelessness. all i can figure is that knowing Jesus has kept me from reaching that point - that place where there is no light, no solution, no relief, and no reason to believe any of these things are coming to find you. how thankful i am for never feeling this.
recently i have seen what hopelessness looks like. from an outsider looking in i would say it's like being buried alive in a very small coffin. just thinking about it literally makes my throat feel like it is closing in on me. i'm sitting in my kitchen and yet claustrophobia encasing me. i actually want to run out into the street, put my hands on my knees and gasp for air. if i had a bra on i would probably do it just to alleviate this oppressive, need-more-air sensation.
i've watched this hopelessness cut the air supply to someone recently. when you have no hope, you have no reason for anything. a person with hope would probably scratch and claw at the coffin and at least try to escape their impending doom. but the hopeless don't care. and to me, not caring is so dangerous for us humans.
Col 1:27 ..."God has made known ... the glorius riches of this mystery, which is Christ in you, the hope of glory". The "mystery" in this passage is the concept that Christ indwells us if we invite Him into our hearts. Christ is our "hope of glory", and in this context it can be better understood if we replace the word "hope" with the word "promise". It's not a "got my fingers crossed" kind of hope, it's a guarantee. Eph 1:14 "a deposit guaranteeing our inheritance ..." Eph 1:18 "in order that you may know the hope (promise) to which he has called you ..." You are right, Jesus HAS kept you from this and will do the same for anyone that accepts his promise as a gift freely given.
ReplyDeleteMelody - you continue to amaze me with your beautiful combination of strength and sensitivity. I love you so.
ditto what dad said.
ReplyDeleteyou're a beautiful expression of God's love, mercy and grace.
i often wonder if our God has emotions and thoughts like wanting to run outside, put his hands on HIS knees, and gasp for air---minus the bra thing:)
but seriously, you simply amaze me. i'm beyond blessed to have you as my child. thankyou for sharing the gift that you are with us.
mom
forgot to add, that i'll pray for this faceless expression of hopelessness that you speak of.
ReplyDeletemom:)